Single Parenting

Not only women but also men have to face lot of difficulties when unlikely they have to become a single parent due to death or loss of spouse. On one hand they have to themselves handle with the grief of loss and on the other hand there is a need to help child in handling the sorrow.
 

Support Kids to handle with Loss

Death of a loved one is like an emotional turmoil. Death of a parent means many added responsibilities on the single parent. A child has to deal with the loss with a strong mind and has come out of the grief which possible with parent’s support. Read on about the ways of helping a child deal with the loss of a dear one.

It is a very obvious situation of extreme grief that when one of the parents dies, the child suffers a huge loss. As you become a single parent, you need to become even more careful on how you deal with your own loss and at the same time help your child deal with the crises at such a tender age. It is a very difficult situation for children as their sense of security gets very badly affected. As you help the child in coping with the loss, you are helping him develop a skill that will benefit him in his later years as an adult as well.

You Need to Explain Death

 Have a quick look at how you can talk your child about death.

Make Child Understand What Death is Actually

The parent often feels that the child is too young to understand the concept of death, they are mentally too fragile. But in reality, children have a great deal of emotional strength and it is easier to help them understand difficult things from the objective point of view. They are curious about death and once you explain them the truth, they will be able to distinguish the imaginary from the reality. At the same time, you need to understand that your child is also feeling the pain, is in a mourning state and needs some time to grow out of it.

Make the Fact Clear

The younger the kid, the more easily will the child think in specific, concrete terms. So do not try to cloud his thoughts by saying that the “dear one” has “gone for a long trip” or is “into sleep”. It is very dangerous as the kid will expect the person to wake up or return. You might be required to repeatedly explain to him that the person is no longer there, and is dead. But stress the fact that he or she will remain forever in our fond memories. The more the kid asks questions like “will mom or dad come back?” be patient and controlled as you answer that he or she is no more and is dead.

Teach your Child to Accept the Reality                   

Kids can well find it difficult to associate death with everything. Explain that there are two facets of every living being, life and death. So try to retain your composure as you explain the facts to him and help them realize that death can happen to every living being around him, the pet doggy or the neighborhood uncle. Remember, your attitude will brush on to the kid and he will find himself in a better position to cope with the loss. 

Ways to Help Him Cope

Keep the following things in mind to help your child cope with death with and ease.

Be Calm, Silent and Patient

Make it a point to offer your calm and silent presence. The kid might give you an emotional stare or a comment; reinstate it by repeating and reciprocating the same. But, do not resort to meaningless phrases like “I know how you feel” because it is not really possible for anyone to “know” another person’s pain.

Try Stress Management Techniques

Always reassure the child that his feelings of grief, sadness, loneliness, fear and anxiety are normal. Every individual tries to vent out the negative feelings by some actions or behavior, you might come across some new behavior like tearing up magazines, newspapers, or punching cushions and pillows when alone. Allow them to do it and then offer compassion. Help him understand that it is all right to be angry but nothing should be done to harm others.

Go through workbooks and search for ways that help to cope up with such losses.

Divert Child’s Attention

Encourage the kid to participate in activities that are of interest to him. It can be anything from gardening, handicraft activities to writing, painting or reading. Help them make a memory book, pay their tribute to the deceased in their own way and participate in the rituals. They play a big role in the healing process.

As you spend time with your kid, you need to be very observant regarding his behavior. If you notice that they are just not able to cope with the loss, seek professional help immediately.

Single Parenting Tips for Widows

We know that motherhood is very challenging and for widows this becomes like a juggling act, juggling between parenting and fulfilling other responsibilities like managing the house. In such a scenario any help or guidance is welcome. Read on the parenting tips for widows that will help to sail smoothly through the twists and turns of life.

Widowed mothers face an immense amount of problems while raising a child. They have to play the role of and fulfill the duties of both, the mother and the father. In such a scenario, it often gets very frustrating and stressful for the mother. There is never enough time to do the things they want to and there is also the financial burden to deal with.

Sometimes it gets very hard to deal with the grief of losing a loved one and at the same time maintaining good parenting. There are also some special benefits of being a single mother despite the negative comments that one might hear about such a situation. Having complete responsibility of the child can be seen as a gift that not many people receive. Widowed mothers establish this special kind of understanding with their children which is not so easily seen in two parent families.

Parenting Tips for Widows

Coping with the loneliness that might come with being a widowed mother is a great challenge. Here are some tips to overcome the many obstacles and challenges a single mother might face.

Taking Help from Family Members

Mothers do not always have to ‘ride solo’, there is nothing wrong in asking for help from family members when the need arises. By using some of these single parenting tips for widows, life can surely be made easier. Of course, the extended family is always there to help but even for them, it would be hard to relate to what it feels like to be a widowed mother.

Networking with Single Mothers

Networking with other single mothers is an important step that every widowed mother should take to be able to talk to someone who truly understands their situation and feelings. It is not necessary that a widowed mother spend the rest of her life grieving over the loss of her spouse and fulfilling her parental responsibilities. It is important to give life beyond parenting, a chance.

Getting Involved in Hobbies

A single mother can still engage in all the hobbies and luxuries of life that she did before the birth of her child. It is of utmost importance that widowed mothers keep their interests alive. This not only gives them an opportunity to take their life beyond just their household and parenting duties but also helps cope with the stress that comes with taking care of twice the amount of responsibilities as in a two parent household.

Coping with Financial Stress

The financial stress that comes with being a widow raising children is another big challenge that is unsparing and exhausting to deal with.  Being a widowed mother is hard as to be able to provide for their children, they need to be completely self sufficient first. They have the added burden of providing for the house along with for the children since there is no one to share the responsibility with. 

In such a case it is important to utilize the resources that one has effectively and not to over spend on petty things. Children from a young age need to be taught the value of money. It is possible to provide the child with all the best facilities available with just a little intelligent money management. 

There are also many underlying issues that need to be dealt with; honing and nurturing the child’s self esteem so he or she does not feel any less special, keeping a check on the behavior of the child at home and in public as the disposition might be affected and making sure that as the child grows he or she understands your position, your situation to give you the respect you deserve. Although single parenting is difficult, there is no greater joy than raising a child and seeing him or her blossom.

Single Parenting Tips for Women

Death of spouse is a big blow for the woman whose world seems like turning upside down. The woman becomes a single parent to her child. Instead of wallowing in self pity and grief, this is the time to pick up the bits and pieces and start life afresh with a renewed strength and perspective. Here are some smart tips for single mom.

Under normal circumstances, people do not aspire to become a single parent. But the moment life takes away your spouse or partner and you are with a kid, you know that you have got to deal with this difficulty alone. Although this is a very tough time, you need to pick up the bits and pieces of your life and try to remain positive.

After all, you still have the option to grow up with your child and see life through his or her perspective and derive all the little pleasures that come with it. There is an innate adaptability in women and in such unfortunate circumstances; it comes across as a real strength.

When the mom is the sole breadwinner of the family, she has to take responsibility of raising children as well as look after their education and at the same time managing quality time for them.

Tips for Single Mothers

Here are a few tips that can help the single moms while rearing their children:

Prepare Yourself

When you are a single mom, you need to be organized from the very beginning. Since you are only person responsible for every thing, you must make sure that you have the time and resources to manage every single thing. Spending time with children is as important as going to work. So prepare yourself by becoming self reliant particularly by attaining financial independence. 

Accept Reality

It is highly unfortunate that you have lost your spouse, but you need to accept this stark reality. The earlier you do it, the better will the impact be in your later life and most importantly, for your kids. There are of certain social bindings that hinder the smooth functioning of a family run by a single mom.

But it is important to vehemently resist these pressures and carry out the responsibilities. Simply weeping will get you no where; you need to feel for the kids who have suffered a great loss. The sooner you accept the reality of loss; you will be mentally equipped to strive to ensure a good rearing to your kids.

Learn to be Adaptable

In a family the mother and a father have two distinct roles to play. They are extremely important for the psychological development of the child. The moment when you have to bring up the child on your own, you also need to realize the fact that the child is used to these distinct role play by the parents.

When the child loses his father, he misses that role play along with the person. Similarly, even if the kid was fortunate to spend time with his father, he happens to yearn for a father figure as he notices his peers having a fabulous relationship with their fathers. Here, the mother needs to adapt herself into role-playing so that the child feels that he can have both his mother and father from the same person.

As he grows into witnessing you accommodating and owning responsibilities single handed, they also learn self-discipline and grow to admire their mom like ever before.

Although it is definitely an unfortunate situation but it is true that a child growing up with a single mom, is likely to develop a far broader outlook and a sensitive human being. All these characteristics develop as they see their mom fighting with the loss and at the same time handling the responsibilities with elan.